Having a conversation with a Minister

No one ever said that having a conversation with a Minister was easy. Some of us tend to clam up; others of us yak non-stop due to nerves. But, with some insider advice, you can learn to focus your chit-chat in a way that will have your Minister seeing you at your very best.

All you need are the right words — and no, we’re not talking about overused phrases like “You look great.” The best conversational strategies are far less obvious, which only add to their power. Try floating a few of these key phrases and watch them work their magic.

Smart phrase #1: “Tell me more about it”

Congratulations, you two have graduated beyond small talk and have delved into a meatier topic — namely, a problem he or she’s struggling with at work or in some other area of their political life. You, in a sincere effort to be helpful, offer a solution. Suddenly, that bonding moment you two were carefully cultivating freezes over as your Minister icily says, “Well, it’s not that easy...” What happened? In short, you gave unsolicited advice, an all-too-common conversational faux pas — especially for us tourism players, who are often accused of trying to “fix” tourism problems. Both sides, however, should take care to hold their tongues at any point they’re tempted to offer a solution. Instead, encourage your Minister to keep talking by saying, “Tell me more about it.”

We’re not saying you should never share your brilliant ideas with your Minister; just be sure to give them space to vent for awhile. Then — and this is crucial — ask for their permission with, “Would you like my advice?” If you’ve given your Minister ample time to get things out in the open, he or she should be more than happy to listen.

Smart phrase #2: “What are the reasons for your opinion?”

Oh, no! Your Minister is in favor of deepwater drilling. You, on the other hand, have marched in every petroleum-use protest within a hundred miles of your hometown. We’re not saying you two are doomed; in fact, butting heads a bit is a great way to get to know each other, not to mention make some sparks fly. So by all means, share your opinion — just do so after you’ve asked your Minister to speak first with a diplomatic, “What are the reasons for your opinion?” This is the difference between an engaging conversation and an instant turn-off.

Smart phrase #3: “I never thought of it that way”

Want to make your Minister’s day? That’s simple: After explaining his or her viewpoint on anything from a current event to a celeb’s odd behavior, ponder the comment and say, “I never thought of it that way.” Saying this doesn’t mean you think your Minister is a genius, it merely shows that you’re being influenced by that person’s thoughts and opinions. And once someone senses that you respect other ideas than your own, the ensuing ego boost will keep that certain someone coming back for more.

Smart phrase #4: “That must have upset you”

One moment, the person in front of you is ranting non-stop about how her constituents are giving her endless problems. But the minute you try to jump on the bashing bandwagon by blurting, “Your constituents sure sounds like a loose cannon!” or some such comment, your Minister suddenly makes an about-face and says, “Actually, you do not know the problems.”

The real problem is, you took sides — and insulted someone your Minister cares for deeply, in spite of the occasional gripes he or she might have. Stay neutral and say something sympathetic like “That must have upset you,” or “I can understand how that would annoy you.” This way, you show compassion and empathy without hitting any landmines.

Smart phrase #5: “How did it go?”

Sooner or later, your Minister may mention an upcoming event that’s important. Take note when you hear these tidbits, since they will turn into prime opportunities to show your Minister you were listening later with a “So how did that event go?” While it may seem obvious to follow up on occurrences like this, they are easy to forget, especially if they’re not of life-and-death magnitude. Or, your Minister may soon squander your chance by volunteering the information with a “So my event went well...” Bottom line: Ministers do like to be asked about things they’ve mentioned to you already — make a point of ponying up as soon as you see each other and your Minister will think, “Wow, how thoughtful.”

Smart phrase #6: “You are a really generous person”

Many people, are quick with the compliments: “You have the most powerful speech,” Your Minister will love it, at first. But then the compliments wear off and so does the reciprocal interest in you. What’s going on? The problem is, you’re focused on superficial qualities when people often prefer to be recognized for who they are on the inside. One’s personality, warmth, generosity, compassion — these things are desirable virtues. So try complimenting an internal quality. Say something like, “It was so thoughtful of you to ______ (for example, “go out of your way to meet me here”), or “You are a ______ (fill in with “caring” “honest,” etc…) person. I really like that about you.”

Smart phrase #7: “I really admire that”

Everyone loves to be admired and loves to be around people who admire them. So, look for opportunities to make your Minister feel proud.